Ever since I was little I have always wanted to be a teacher – although an odd dream for a child to have – I was adamant it was what I wanted to do. I would “play” school with my friends and would give them notepads to write in, I even had a whiteboard in my room that I would use to “teach”. Although I absolutely loved everything about teaching; the marking, the delivery, the organisation, helping students… there was just one small problem, I lacked any form of confidence to stand in front of people and I also had no idea what age or subject I would teach.
I was always one of the smarter and well behaved children – I would do my homework on time, was never in trouble and I enjoyed learning. Unfortunately, this led to me being bullied through-out my entire time of primary and high school. This led to the very little confidence I did have being completely destroyed, even meaning I would beg my mum to speak for me in shops, on the phone or anything which involved interaction with a stranger. Although being able to teach was a dream of mine – it seemed impossible. How could I stand in front of a room of strangers if I couldn’t even talk to one?
My college years led me to a subject which I absolutely fell in love with – Psychology. Prior to this History had always been my favourite subject, and I chose to study this in my A levels along with Maths (which I received a high grade in GCSEs) and graphic design, which I enjoyed. Psychology was simply a randomly chosen subject as I needed a fourth! I started to jump around a bit at this point with the kind of job I wanted – forensic psychologist, clinical psychologist, counsellor… I just knew I wanted to be able to keep learning about psychology.
When it came to doing my undergraduate degree (which I, unsurprisingly, did in psychology) my confidence grew, I made friends with people on my course and I was pushed into doing presentations and group work. The maturity of students at university level was something I had been surprised about – everyone was so nice, everyone was in the same boat and everyone wanted to learn because they were doing a subject which they had chosen to do. This was the time that I discovered research and I fell in love. I always received a first (70% +) in my research projects and I always really enjoyed doing them.
One of my interests in psychology was education, I was interested in helping students to learn better and how people learn differently. This led me back to wanting to pursue my original dream – teaching. I mentioned to my undergraduate dissertation supervisor in level 6 that I had wanted to go into some form of teaching and as she knew about my love for research, she suggested perhaps I should go down the route of a university lecturer as it combined two things I loved. She discussed options with me and told me that I would need to do a PhD but that they are incredibly competitive. That night, I went home and I was researching what my next step could potentially be.
I decided that I would go into A level Teaching. I had found a course at another university that was still within commuting distance of my home. I figured I would teach for a few years and then go onto pursue a PhD when I felt ready. Amazingly, I got an interview for the course, where I also had to do a simple maths and English test, and I was offered a place to which I accepted.
Being an incredibly organised person, I decided to email my undergraduate programme leader (who I had met several times) to ask if he knew of any psychology a level teachers who I could potentially talk to so I could do some prep over the summer – to my shock, he replied with an offer of a PhD instead! He told me how another department in the university was looking to recruit a psychology student to do a PhD in educational psychology and my dissertation supervisor had recommended me – I was over the moon.
I remember the first meeting I ever had with my director of studies where she was explaining to me about how a PhD worked and she asked me if I was okay with doing some teaching and marking during the course of my PhD, I couldn’t have been happier!
The first time I ever taught was a lecture on how to use endnote to a class of masters students. I was incredibly nervous, I had prepared weeks in advance and practiced over and over again. Now, a year on, the Teaching doesn’t make me nervous in the slightest, it makes me happy, I love when students give me positive feedback (just before Christmas I was told I made a boring subject interesting!) and I feel as though I’ve made tons of friends in my students. I absolutely love what I do and I really hope I am able to continue into lecturing from my PhD.
I have found what I want to do with my life.